OK folks, I’m going for the low hanging fruit on this one and having a little fun:

Calvin has wanted to be a spaceman ever since he was 7. To be fair he has also wanted to be a cheap detective, a superhero and a tyrannosaurus, so take from that what you will.
His adventures usually involve him crashing into a planet due to enemy activity, or malfunctions on his spaceship, both of which happen with alarming frequency. As a result of these crashes his insurance premiums are quite high. He regularly gets captured by a variety of aliens, especially the zorg, but always manages to escape, which usually involves running away as fast as he can.
His spaceship is an experimental model, which may account for the frequent malfunctions. Its Hyper-Freem Drive is capable of shunting him into a space where time has no meaning and carrying him to the most distant worlds in the galaxy. As a result, he has visited a variety of worlds, encountered numerous alien species and blasted them.
His primary weapon, other than snowballs and water balloons (I mean hydro-bombs) is his trusty zorcher. The weapon creates an astounding amount of noise and pyrotechnics but does very little damage despite having settings such as “Shake-n’-Bake”, “Medium Well”, “Deep Fat-fry”, “Frappe” and “Liquefy”.
Calvin has a knack for extreme sports, particularly freestyle downhill sledding and Calvinball.

Calvin Johns